NLCS Preview

I must confess that at heart, my dream job would have to be writing the beat for the Philadelphia Phillies. Now, this is not a job that I am going to school to try and land some day. This is the kind of a job that I would probably never be able to get even if I was the best candidate with a doctorate in sports journalism. The reason for this is naturally because I am too much of a sports fan.

I say this as a disclaimer to this blog post. This post is not about nature, parks, or wild lands. This is Andrew Kleiner’s preview of the NLCS that begins tonight in Los Angeles. IF you are not a sports fan, the NLCS stands for the National League Championship Series. It is a seven game series that a team must win four games of to acquire the National League Pennant. The Pennant is a glorious accomplishment in baseball that means you are the champion of the National or American League and you are headed into the greatest sporting event on planet earth, the October Classic, The World Series.

This year my Philadelphia Phillies will be playing the Los Angeles Dodgers for the second straight year in the NLCS. Last year, as we remember, the Phillies won, headed into the World Series against the expansion Tampa Bay Rays (formerly agents of the devil) and it all led to this moment. This moment of course was the single greatest moment in any Phillies fan’s life who had not been sentient or sober in 1980 to remember it. This moment was also the defining moment for the Voice of the Philadelphia Phillies who would end up passing away a few months after. Here it is:

That call still gives me chills.

Now, it is 2009. Harry Kalas has left us but the Phillies play on. Before I continue with my preview of the NLCS I must say that Tom McCarthy, the man who has taken over for Harry Kalas is unequivocally a bum. He should be fired. His shrill voice, faked enthusiasm, and stupid commentary is grating and terrible. His home run call is anemic and often times embarrassing. To put it plainly, he sucks. He sucks bad. Scott Franzke on the other hand, rules and is doing an amazing job on the radio with Larry Anderson. The two of them are a modern day Harry and Whitey. Those two are without question the best pair of baseball broadcasters today.

So, let us move on to the NLCS. Pretty boy Floyd Hamels will be starting tonight against the worst beard in the playoffs, Clayton Kershaw. The Fightin’ Phils have knocked Kershaw around a bunch this year but Cole “it was my sleeves” Hamels has allowed opposing teams to knock him around about as often as a punching bag in a boxing gym. Cole has somehow avoided nearly all media scrutiny regarding his poor performance either because of his overachieving run last October or his dreamy hair. I am not sure which. If the October phantom Hamels of last year returns tonight, we will win game one. I’m hedging my bets and guessing he will last 6 innings give up five runs and the Phillies will lose the game 5-1.

Game two, Pedro? Damn it. I don’t know what to expect from goat man. He hasn’t started since September 30th and is old. Not the good kind of old like Jamie Moyer who received a wonderful screwjob over the summer by Ruben “I wish I wore cool shirts like Pat Gillick” Amaro in signing old Pedro. It’s a crapshoot but given the Dodgers pitching options I’ll give game two to the Phillies.

Game three, Cliff Lee, and nothing else to say here, the Phillies will win game three.

Game four, Hamels again? God I hope not. Let Happ have another stab. Who knows? But at some point and probably during this game Vincente Padilla will start for the Dodgers. Phillies fans remember this bum. Phillies win 10-2 with Padilla on the mound, and we can all point and laugh when Padilla walks off the mound.

Heading into game five, the Phillies are up 3-1. Realize, I am basing my predictions on pitching because the Phillies offense is as flaky as Brett Farve in the offseason. Howard could be huge, Rollins could catch on fire, Utley could un-bum himself, Werth could not be worthless, I don’t know. I’d rather speculate on the pitching. It is easier to make wild useless assumptions that way. I am also avoiding guessing whether Brad Lidge is going to suck or not. I’m leaving the window open for a solid bullpen performance that should be bolstered by the return of Chan Ho Park. I’ll even say I have some faith in Lidge and I don’t think he is going to blow a save in this series.

Game five, if Hamels didn’t start game four, he will start here. I’ll say he does. Phillies lose 5-2.

Game six, Cliff Lee. Phillies win the series.

That is my call, Phillies in six. Let’s see what happens. October baseball is incredible, exhilarating, and if you are a Phillies fan nauseating and sweat inducing. My bottom line is this: DO IT FOR HARRY and PLEASE for the love of god do not let Tom McCarthy make any significant calls. Franzke, punch him out if need be. KEEP HIM AWAY FROM THE MIC.

GO PHILS!!!!



See Also:
A trip to a Different Kind of Park (Rest in Peace Harry)
Jamie Moyer and his 257th win